Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World

Rob S. Smith

Rachel Gilson has written the book that Christian parents have been needing for some time—a book designed to equip us and our children to navigate faithfully LGBT+ questions and to do so, as she puts it, ‘not as adversaries but as missionaries.’ Rachel’s own life story has caused her to wrestle deeply and personally with the matters she addresses. Doubtless, this explains both the clarity and the sense of reality that characterize her writing. Most important of all, however, is the biblical truth and gospel grace that permeate her thinking and counsel on every page. When it comes to imparting the wisdom of God’s ways to Christian children and preparing them for discipleship in an LGBT+-affirming world, this brief resource is the ideal place in which to begin.

Dani Treweek

A triumph of both calmness and confidence. To parents and all who love young people, Gilson models calmness in the presence of panic and confidence in the face of anxiety. But, even more importantly, she equips readers to rest calmly in God’s steadfast faithfulness and confidently in his enduring goodness. This is a book which truly lives up to its title and is a blessing to all who seek to disciple children with Jesus’ truth and love.

“Helpful, Biblical, and Hard - a Needed Book in Today's World”

This book is helpful, Biblical, and hard. Hard because it highlights the problems our children will face and it seems so heavy for their little hearts. It can be discouraging to think about raising Christian children amongst the wildly chaotic society in which we live. But reading books like this that help equip you with how to deal with situations your children will certainly face is very helpful. While I don’t fully agree with all of the absolutes stated in this book, I can surely appreciate where the author is coming from and her heart behind it. My favorite part of this book is the grace-filled, gospel-centered approach to the topic. Far too often we want to dismiss those with different sins than us or condemn them without pointing them to Christ. This book levels the playing field and encourages parents to do the hard and sometimes awkward work, beginning at a young age, so that their children will be equipped with the Biblical worldview and know how to engage LGBT-affirming situations without being judgmental Pharisees. The foundation of everything, including sexuality, being broken by the fall and redeemed by the gospel is the basis of which we ought to approach our conversations and interactions with others.

“Rich in godly wisdom and practical, age-appropriate advice”

WHAT I LIKED: Rachel’s honesty and powerful testimony. From the beginning, Rachel is honest about her past and how as a youth and young adult she engaged in same-sex relationships. She also briefly shares how God “interrupted her life” and confronted her with the gospel when reading “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis and how it became the “defining center” of her life.

WHO IS THIS FOR: Recommended for parents of preschool through elementary-school children, this book would also be good for extended family members, as well as Christian counselors, teachers, and mentors.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: As an adult and parent who continues to experience same-sex attraction but has chosen to follow Jesus, Rachel brings a unique perspective and firsthand knowledge to what children today are asking, feeling, and being exposed to and how parents can approach tough conversations about sexuality and reproduction with grace and wisdom versus panic and fear.

Being that my children range in age from preschool to third grade, I found the first two chapters most helpful where Rachel encourages parents to look for examples and opportunities to teach children about God’s positive vision for our bodies and how parents are the best *first teacher* of their children when it comes to learning about the correct names of body parts, reproduction, and biblical sexuality.

Overall, this is a quick read but one that is rich in godly wisdom and practical, age-appropriate advice that will equip parents and anyone else who cares for children and has a heart for teaching them truth about God’s creation, design, and love.

Thank you, The Good Book Company, for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Recommend!

“Helpful, Biblical and Practical”

This is perhaps the most difficult topic parents are facing in our culture, seeking to show our children how good God’s plans for relationships is, and respond to their big questions. Gilson’s new book is biblical and faithful, while being practical too. I wish it was longer, as I still had a fair few questions that I’d love to be answered, but it was incredibly helpful for me as a youth leader and future parent. She sets out principles to be believed and practices to embed those principles too, with plenty of biblical support for them. This would be a really good read for those who work with children or have children of their own, so that they can be prepared for when these questions come

“Practical and relational”

Really appreciate this very practical and relation look at how to navigate the issues of our current culture and how we can best prepare our children without fear and panic, but also shower them and those we disagree with with grace and love.

“Solid, Practical, and Encouraging”

This short, conversational book tackles tough topics in a gracious and winsome way. The author shares from her own experience and covers core biblical principles, exploring ways that parents can approach conversations about sexuality with young children and school-age kids. The book is well-organized and easy to follow, and the highly readable, personal writing style helps defuse some of the stress parents will feel around the topic. There are also bullet-point summaries at the end of each chapter for easy reference, reminding readers of principles and suggested practices from that chapter.

This book is thoughtful, compassionate, and nuanced. The author explains God’s vision for sexuality, as represented through the Bible and the created order, and she writes about ways that parents can start teaching their kids about sexuality and reproduction in age-appropriate ways early on.

She also writes about the impact of both chosen sin and unchosen brokenness on people’s bodies and lives, offers suggestions for LGBT-specific conversations, and shares biblical examples and encouragement for parents who are fearful about teaching counter-cultural concepts. The final chapter offers helpful, sensitive insight on how to respond when LGBT issues hit close to home, especially when a child is questioning their sexuality or comes out.

This book will appeal to Christian parents who want to teach a traditional biblical sexual ethic to their children, but who feel overwhelmed because of cultural opposition and their uncertainty about how to do things differently than their own parents. I also appreciate that the author doesn’t just write to parents, but addresses other important adults in a child’s life as well. Overall, this book is a solid resource, and its brevity will make it accessible to busy parents who don’t have time to read something more extensive.

I received a free copy from the publisher, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

“Needful & Helpful”

This book is so helpful as we parent in a world that is against so much of what we hold true. Christian parents, this is a great resource!

“Great resource for Parents of young children”

I read this book in tandem with What Do I Say When…?. Apparently both Crossway Publishing and The Good Book Company had similar plans to release a short parenting guide on some of the cultural issues of the day and how to relate them at age-appropriate levels.

I decided to read them back-to-back and compare them.

In brief, I would say that I liked Parenting without Panic better, however it was written for parents with kids 11 and under— which is me— and I felt like she did a better job providing more specific illustrations and ways of communicating.

This book is a good starting point but as the authors of both books reiterate, as parents we need to be well-versed in the lies they might hear and how to combat that. That will require reading more than this book.

I will agree with another review regarding caution as it pertains to Preston Sprinkle's book and theology. I don't think Rachel Gilson was necessarily recommending him as something to mirror but more of a, educate yourself on how people who claim Christ can twist God's truth, but you'll have to hold it all up to Scripture regardless.

I’m still working on quelling all of my fear regarding my kids’ faith and future, but I can tell you that I have a lot less fear and a lot more confidence in parenting from reading books like this that remind me that my beliefs regarding LGBT topics are not hateful, bigoted, or misguided. They are grounded in the love and truth of God who created each of us on purpose with a purpose. I don’t have to wonder if I’m on the wrong side of history because I know I am on the right side of God’s truth.

“Helpful & Biblical”

The world our children are growing up in looks quite different than the one most of us were raised in and as such the messages our children will receive on this topic will likely happen much earlier.

Rachel approaches this topic with encouragement for parents to not succumb to the fear that may naturally spring up in us but provides principles to guide these conversations while praying for and applying God’s wisdom.

One of the things that I appreciated most about this book was the first few chapters where Rachel dives into God’s vision for marriage and sex before even approaching the LGBT topic. I loved her emphasis on teaching our children about God’s good design for these things from the start. As a bonus, she also has some great conversation examples for talking about sex with your kids.

Once they have a base level of knowledge for God’s good design for marriage and sex, it’s easier to then point out when the culture promotes distortions of this original design.

Rachel’s past experience with same-sex attraction and commitment to the Bible’s teaching on the subject offer a unique perspective that balances both the truth of God’s word and the call to show love to our neighbors recognizing that every single one of us has been impacted by sin and the fall.

Upon finishing the book, you may be left wanting more, which Rachel herself addresses. She writes "I expect you feel an itch remaining to be scratched from the many questions that were not answered. The itch is also an opportunity. What I've tried to supply you with in these few pages are principles for guiding you."

It's a difficult topic and one with no exact script that could possibly match every situation parents will encounter with their children. But this book is a great guide to help you navigate the conversation around marriage, sex, LGBT+ and God's word.

*Thanks so much to @thegoodbookcompanyusa for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

“faithful option to navigate LGBT+”

Although this isn't the first Christian book to address the LGBT+ movement, it is another timely addition to the others. I am always hesitant and skeptical of books like these. Mainly because there are many books that seem to come from a biblical perspective but end up using the name of Jesus to affirm LGBT+.

Thankfully, Rachel brings a very precious perspective as she, herself, walked the road of LGBT+ for many years before being confronted with the Gospel and immediately changing her direction in life. I was thankful for Rachel sharing her own experience and how the Lord brought her into His Kingdom. These are stories we need to hear more of in order to gain wisdom and love towards the LGBT+ community.

Gilson structures the book with six chapters sandwiched between an introduction and a conclusion. The chapters include:

- God's positive vision
- Sex Talk
- The Impact of the Fall
- Tools for LGBT+ Conversations
- Fear Not
- In the Family

Although this is a small, short book, she provides a plethora of invaluable wisdom, experiences, stories, and practical. She writes specifically to parents with kids younger kids and preteens.

Each chapter ends with two sections:

- Key Principles: summarizes the important points of the chapter.
- Practices for Parenting: provides simple ways to implement the concepts discussed in the chapter through teaching your children and living it out daily.

This is a wonderful book for parents to walk alongside their kids and navigate a society that affirms LGBT+ while staying faithful to the word of God.

I received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review.