The struggle we all face: the challenge to the church

This is an extract from the end of Vaughan Roberts' book Battles Christians Face. In it, Vaughan very helpfully outlines the challenge we face to change as churches to support those who struggle with same-sex attraction.

1. Renounce prejudice

Christians are right to object when anyone who argues that homosexual sex is wrong is dismissed as "homophobic". Many of those who believe the Bible forbids homosexual practice are warmly affirming and supportive of those who have homosexual feelings. Nonetheless, we should recognise that sinful homophobic attitudes do exist in our churches. Our conversation and the tone of our public comments sometimes reveals a dislike, not just of homosexual sin, but of homosexual people. Lance Pierson's words challenge us all to examine our attitudes to think about the impression our words and actions may give. He writes, "Homophobia is far more widespread than homosexuality. It is not recognised as a pathological condition, so it is largely untreated and unconfessed. Yet those with gay feelings instantly detect it. it wounds them, hammering into them that they are unlovable, unforgivable, unwelcome. We drive them away from our churches, especially evangelical churches, where they assume that they will be condemned. We distort their view of God by implying that he shares our hate of gay people. Our passing remarks and sweeping generalisations in favour of 'a hard line against gays' force many silent sufferers into the misery of secret loneliness".

2. Don't compromise on truth

Love demands an understanding and compassionate response to those who are attracted to the same sex, but it does not justify a compromise in Christian standards of sexual morality. The clear teaching of scripture, as understood by Christians for 2000 years, forbids homosexual practice. We often hear the voice of homosexual Christians who argue for a revisionist reading of the Bible and a liberalisation of the church's ethical teaching. But we should not forget that there are many believers, largely hidden, who also have homosexual feelings but, in obedience to Christ and his word, do not believe it is right for them to engage in homosexual activity. Their struggle to live holy lives is greatly undermined by those who advocate or tolerate a lowering of biblical standards in this area.

One Christian, who had lived a promiscuously homosexual lifestyle before his conversion has written, "it causes many of us profound distress and hurt to witness the extraordinary spectacle of spiritual leaders charged with feeding or ruling the flock of God apparently encouraging same-sex practices ... The last advice that any of us redeemed homosexuals need to hear in our daily battles is that, in certain circumstances, the deeds that are 'natural' to us are permissible after all! ... In this delicate area there is a real danger that 'little ones' who believe in Jesus are caused to sin".

3. Live as God's family

We are right to affirm the Bible's prohibition of homosexual sex, but we dare not do so without also ensuring we make every effort to provide the necessary support to enable those with homosexual feelings to live godly lives. There is an important place for trained counsellors and specialist ministries but, above all, churches can help simply by being what they are called to be: the family of God in which brothers and sisters grow together into maturity in Christ. John Stott has written, "at the heart of the homosexual condition is a deep loneliness, the natural human hunger for mutual love, a search for identity and a longing for completeness. If homosexual people can not find these things in the local church family, we have no business to go on using the expression".

Single people can feel as if they are on the fringes of church life. A friend of mine once attended a church which called its young adults group, "Pairs and Spares". We may avoid such awful language, but many of our churches can give the impression that single people are "spares" who do not fully belong. We should do all we can to build affectionate, caring relationships across the spectrum of the church: young and old, single and married, people from different backgrounds and with different personalities. In such a church those struggling with homosexual temptation, or any other sexual temptation, will begin to find an emotional fulfilment which will significantly reduce their craving for sex. They will experience, at least in part, a reflection of the love and acceptance God has already lavished on them in Christ.