I have never found prayer comes particularly naturally to me. I find it hard to concentrate and stop my mind wandering, and I regularly realise I need to repent of moving through my day without praying much at all. I know that prayer is a gift and a privilege, but I find it hard to live that out.
My prayer for my kids, therefore, is that they’ll talk to their heavenly Father far more quickly, far more regularly, and far more naturally than their dad does. In other words, that their prayer habits will be far stronger and healthier than mine.
That’ll be a work of the Spirit—but the Spirit uses means, and often the means he uses for little ones are their families. So here are six things that I’ve learned over the last decade or so about how to encourage good habits in our kids (and their parents).
If you have a baby, pray over them each night. Start the bedtime prayer routine literally from the word go. If you have toddlers, pray with them each night. Encourage them to thank God for something. (For my son, for about a year, it was cars. Every night.) If your kids are a bit older, work out the best stage of the day for family prayer time and start—and stick at it. It will always be harder to start next year than this year.
Our habits become part of how we do our days. Prayer habits are no different. Make family prayer time part of your bedtime routine, so that it’s something you just do, like cleaning teeth and putting pyjamas on.
Prayer is talking to God. Encourage your kids to chat to him. If that’s about cars or princesses, that’s fine. He’s their loving Father and he loves to listen to them.
But at the same time, don’t let it become merely a routine. Pray when you’re out and about. Pray aloud about your own requests and concerns, from a sick relative to the need to find a parking spot. Young kids get excited about all kinds of things during the average day. Be quick to help them thank God for that stick/dog/paint/song.
Our kids “catch” how to live and how to see the world as much as (or perhaps more than) being formally taught it. (Which is a humbling thought, and will probably prompt you to pray…) So make sure family prayer time is a time when they hear you pray—praising God for who he is, thanking him for his kindnesses, repenting of your sins, and asking him for what you need. Two advantages to doing this: firstly, they’ll learn how to pray from hearing you pray; secondly, you’ll spend time praying. It’s good for everyone!
Prayer is talking to God. Encourage your kids to chat to him. If that’s about cars or princesses, that’s fine. He’s their loving Father and he loves to listen to them. Make sure your kids know that impressive words and formulas are not necessary—indeed, they can be spiritually harmful (Matthew 6:5-8).
At the same time, seek to help your kids see that prayer is talking to God. We have a little routine at family prayer time where we close our eyes, think of the stars, and remember that the one we’re about to speak to made them all with a word. Then we breathe in, and out, and remember that the one we’re about to speak to gives us every breath as a gift. That prompts us all to remember that we’re coming before an almighty Creator and Sustainer, as well as to a loving Father.
Prayer is part of a conversation. God speaks to us primarily in his Word, and we respond in prayer. So read a Bible story together, and then pray in response to it. This is something we don’t necessarily find easy as adults! But imagine if we could give our kids the habit and joy of hearing God speak and then speaking to him in praise and thanks and repentance and petition, based on what he has said. It’s the main reason I wrote God’s Big Promises Bible Story Prayers—to help kids (and their parents, including me!) to pray Bible-based prayers. Of course, leave space for children to say thank you talking to God about [insert your own child’s particular current interest here!]. But we can lay the foundations for more than that—for them to pray naturally, regularly, confidently, and biblically. What a wonderful gift to give to our children—and to ourselves!
God's Big Promises Bible Story Prayers will give kids a framework that will help them to pray by themselves as they grow up.
Carl is Editorial Director at The Good Book Company and is a member of Grace Church Worcester Park, London. He is the best-selling author of The Garden, the Curtain and the Cross and God's Big Promises Bible Storybook, and also serves as series editor of the God's Word for You series. Before joining TGBC, he worked as a journalist and then as a teacher, and pastored a congregation in Hull. Carl is married to Lizzie, and they have two children. He studied history at Oxford University.
