I wish I’d known…how to answer questions

From Sally:
"I wish I had known that young people have loads of questions about faith, so don't make difficult subjects taboo – they want answers!"

Most children and teenagers like to ask questions. Most leaders and helpers worry they won’t be able to answer them! The most important guideline here is: It’s ok not to know the answer.

We so easily put pressure on ourselves over this:

• “They expect me to know everything, so I’ll have to pretend”
• “I don’t understand the hard stuff myself, so I’m bound to get it wrong”
• “I don’t want to talk about difficult stuff, so I’ll ban discussions about sex, drugs and rock-and-roll”
• “If I get the answer wrong, it might mess up their understanding for ever”
• “If I say anything too controversial, the parents will be angry with me”
• “If I give an answer they don’t like, they may leave the group”

But much of the pressure reduces if we just remember that it’s ok not to know the answer. Even Peter found some parts of the Bible tricky! I’m sure many of us would agree with his comment that Paul’s letters “contain some things that are hard to understand” (2 Peter 3 v 16).

A simple reply to a tricky question might be: “That’s a great question. I don’t actually know the answer, but I’ll find out.” Then you have time to ask someone else, do a bit of research, or find a helpful Bible passage to look at with the child/teen. The one crucial thing is that you don’t then use this as an excuse to avoid the question. If you’ve promised to find out, you need to do so, and then follow up with the young person next time you see them.

And, if you find that a number of your group have questions about one particular area (eg: homosexuality is a hot topic with teenagers at the moment), why not ask someone with experience in that area to visit the group and lead a discussion on it? You’ll be learning about the topic yourself as well, which will help you know how to answer next time.