Few situations are more frustrating than an argument with that family member during Christmas dinner.
However, not everyone is in the position to have family tussles over turkey. You may have a strained relationship with certain family members because of ongoing conflict. There may be injustice and abuse, or simply absence.
Maybe someone you love isn’t here anymore. Or a relationship has ended. Maybe your parent worked too much trying to provide, or was never around at all—whether physically or emotionally. Or maybe things would have been a bit better had they not been around.
In Psalm 94, the psalmist begs God to see the injustice of evil people abusing widows and orphans. He then remembers the heart of God and gently rebukes himself:
He who planted the ear, does not he hear?
He who formed the eye, does he not see? (Psalm 94:9)
There is no easy answer for the grief that comes with loneliness around Christmastime, except that it is seen and acknowledged by God—and has even been felt by him. In Isaiah 53:3, the prophet Isaiah paints a picture of isolation, and he’s describing Jesus:
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
Jesus was disrespected and rejected: an outcast. Isaiah does not force an upbeat verse for consolation. He simply describes Jesus as being familiar with sorrow and with grief. He states his loneliness. Jesus too was lonely—rejected even by God, for our acceptance.
"God does not promise that these tough situations will cease to exist or cease to harm us in this life. But he does promise never to leave, abuse, or abandon us."
Sometimes, being with family makes us feel lonely. It’s easy to feel either singled out or left out amongst family members, oddly enough. Maybe they mean well, but your aunts and uncles just don’t understand your relationship choices, or your grandchildren require coaxing to engage in conversation with you.
There are multiple types of grief and loneliness, some not at all obvious outwardly. But even in the worst of situations, God promises to be close:
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close. (Psalm 27:10)
When you feel lonely in a crowded room, you’re probably not the only one. Try asking the difficult aunt or uncle a few questions. Show patience to your teenage grandchild. They very well may be the oddball in their own eyes. And when a difficult family member becomes hurtful, don’t be afraid to step away.
God does not promise that these tough situations will cease to exist or cease to harm us in this life. But he does promise never to leave, abuse, or abandon us:
For the Lord will not forsake his people;
he will not abandon his heritage. (Psalm 94:14)
Instead, God sticks around. He helps. He loves. Psalm 94:17-18 testifies to God’s eternal presence:
If the Lord had not been my help,
my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
When I thought, “My foot slips,”
your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
Whatever your family situation this Christmas, remember that where our earthly father, mother, sibling, or friend may fail us, God is good.
I Forgive You explores what repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation can look like, even in extremely difficult circumstances. Readers will see that peace, freedom, and fruitfulness really are possible, even when certain things can't be fixed.
Avery is our Marketing Engagement Specialist. She manages our global social media channels and works alongside authors to help share about their books. You can often find her sharing stories in our bookstore at conferences.
