Nathan Buttery is one of the associate vicars at St Andrew the Great Church, Cambridge.
For a short introduction to what one-to-oneing is, just click here.
Scott is a 38-year-old truck driver who lives in Hull. He became a Christian a couple of years ago. He loves his family, his tattoos and his Lord.
Who did you one-to-one with, and when? What did you do?
I met up with the curate at our church, Steve, every Sunday evening for an hour. We started about six months after I became a Christian.
We did it for about a year, and we still meet up from time to time but a bit less regularly now. We looked at lots of different parts of the Bible—the ones I really remember are 1 Corinthians and Leviticus.
How did one-to-oneing help you?
It was just really useful to read the Bible with someone who knew more than me. I was able to make sure I’d got it, and get an explanation of difficult passages.
Meeting up like that really gave me more confidence in my own Bible reading. I found I was able to understand it better. Now I’ve got it on my mobile phone, and I can read it during breaks on long truck trips.
How did you feel when you were first asked if you’d like to one-to-one?
I was really excited. I wanted to do it, because I wanted to get into the Bible and I thought it would help me do that.
Has one-to-oneing affected your own role in church?
Yes—I’ve just started doing Sunday School, teaching the older lads’ group. One-to-oneing has given me the confidence to do that.
And what would you say to someone who’s got the chance to one-to-one with a more experienced Christian, and isn’t sure whether they want to or whether they’ve got time?
I would say to them: Do it! Do it, because it will open their eyes. If you’re new to Christianity, like I was, it can be really hard to get what the Bible’s saying, and if you have someone to lead you through, and explain the bits you’re lost on, you can understand it so much more, and that’s exciting. So do it!
Andrew Cornes is Rector of All Saints Church, Crowborough, in Sussex.
For a short introduction to what one-to-oneing is, just click here.
As someone who’s spent some years in full-time church ministry, this book looked like it was probably just going to teach me how to suck eggs. And it did.
But the thing is, I don’t actually know very much about how to suck eggs. And I wish I’d read this book when I was still leading a congregation.
The central idea is a simple one: that churches, and church leaders, need to prioritise people (the vine), rather than programs (the trellis). Simple to say; much harder to do.
The authors, two extremely experienced gospel-hearted Australians, gently suggest that too often churches get so caught up in meetings, structures, finance, buildings and so on that the “vine work”, the discipleship of Christians and evangelism to non-Christians, is neglected. There’s a lot of activity, a lot of commitment, a lot of people giving a lot of time: but there’s not much gospel growth.
What’s needed is a church where everyone is helping, encouraging, supporting, challenging, teaching—in other words, “discipling”—everyone else. The kind of church where, for instance, there's loads of one-to-one work going on, overseen by, but not done by, the full-time staff.
And for that to happen requires what they describe as “a ministry mind-shift that changes everything”.
So this is a book for pastors; but it's not just for them. It's actually for whole church, and particularly the more mature Christians within each church. After all, if this book's right, ministry is as much about them as it is about the "ministers".
Personally, I found some of the observations in the chapters on training most striking:
It’s not a perfect book! I’d have liked a little more on what the idea that the Sunday sermon isn’t everything means for a pastor’s timetabling priorities; and I was left wondering whether our “normal” Sunday services reflect an “alongside” approach to ministry, rather than a “topdown” one, but there were no ideas on this. (Maybe there’s another book in that…)
But those are minor things. Overall, it’s easy to read, not overlong, very realistic about ministry and church life; and a great way either to reassure yourself you’re on the right track as a member or leader of a church, or to help and challenge you to change direction a little (or a lot!) if that’s what’s needed.
After all, we all think we know how to suck eggs. But actually, I’ll bet not that many of us do!
If you want to get a copy, simply click here. And as part of our one-to-one week, you can save 25% by using the code one25 at checkout.
To mangle a phrase from an old mobile phone company’s ad campaign:
Who could you have a one-to-one with?
When one2one (now T-mobile) asked celebrities who they would like to have a one-to-one conversation with, most of them chose famous dead people: Martin Luther-King, Elvis Presley, and so on.
This week, on the blog, we’re going to focus on Christian one-to-ones. With normal people. Living people.
WHAT'S A ONE-TO-ONE?
One-to-ones are intentional Christian conversations. It’s talking to someone else, or listening to someone else, about Christ. It can be as informal as a chat at the school gate or over a drink in which you share Christian encouragements or prayer requests.
But often, it’s a bit more deliberate than that; it involves opening the Bible up and looking at it together. It’s based on friendship and those everyday conversations; but it’s arranged and organised. Sometimes it’s two Christians of roughly the same age and stage; often it’s an older, more experienced Christian with someone who’s been following Christ for less time. Or it might be a Christian meeting up with a friend who isn't a Christian but wants to find out more.
And here’s the thing: anybody can “do” one-to-ones. There’ll be someone we all know that we could one-to-one with. But often, church members leave it to the full-time “experts”. And the full-timers have a lot of other stuff on their plate… so although anybody could do it, and everybody thinks it would be great if somebody would do it, in the end nobody does it.
And that’s a real shame, because one-to-ones are rocket fuel for the Christian life. They’re catalysts for deep, real, Christian friendship. They’re manure for growing Christians (OK, I’m struggling for metaphors now).
THE BLOG THIS WEEK
So this week, do keep coming to the blog. You’ll find:
So we hope you’re already thinking: who could I have a one to one with?
But by the end of the week, we’re hoping you’ll be thinking:
Who will I have a one to one with?
