One-to-one: the manual

“Looking back at the key turning points in your journey of faith, odds are there will be certain individuals who have deeply influenced you at these points; individuals who cared and gave you their time, who taught you from the Scriptures and prayed for you.”

And wouldn’t it be great to be the kind of individual who others are able to look at in this way? But, as Sophie de Witt points out in One-to-One, “the biggest question with one-to-one work is usually ‘How’?”

And that’s why she’s written this book. It’s a kind of manual for why and how to one-to-one with someone. It’s really practical: but it’s never less than biblical. It’s clear, it’s challenging, and it’s encouraging.

And (like every book should be!) it’s not long, and it’s not hard to read. It has some great ideas in it for where to go in the Bible as you start and what questions to ask.

My only quibble is that I’m not sure I agree with Sophie that every “senior partner” of a one-to-one relationship should be aiming to write their own studies: if you’re short on time and experience, get some decent notes, use someone else’s hard work and wisdom, and get going without worrying that the studies aren’t yours.

But that’s a small speck of complaint; the rest of the book is gold-dust. I’m so glad I read it a couple of years ago, while I was doing one-to-ones; I wish I’d read it years ago, when I began doing one-to-ones.

So it’s a must-read, really, if you would like to get started but aren’t sure how; if you’ve been doing one-to-ones for a while; or if you’re a pastor wanting to encourage and train others in one-to-one ministry.

And it’s a must-read because, as we hope we’ve persuaded you this week, a widespread one-to-one ministry is a bit of a must-have for a growing church. As Sophie points out: “The evangelical church around the world today might be growing, but … what is often lacking is a commitment to following the Lord Jesus that thoroughly affects every area of a person’s life.

“Could this be because individuals are not being trained to study and apply the Scriptures for themselves and in turn to help others grow in their discipleship?”

If you want to get going or keep going with one-to-oneing, buying Sophie’s book is a great place to start, which you can do here. And it’s just been reduced from £7 to £5: but stocks are limited…

For a short introduction to what one-to-oneing is, just click here.