Why I Mourn the Death of Hugh Hefner

I woke up yesterday morning to the news that Playboy Magnate and millionaire Hugh Hefner had died at the ripe old age of 91. To be honest, it left me with conflicting emotions.

Hefner founded the sexually explicit men’s lifestyle magazine Playboy in 1953, and was at the forefront of the sexual revolution. He advocated, and lived, the free-love lifestyle, throwing wild parties at his Playboy Mansion, where he wore silk pyjamas, and was surrounded by a posse of bunny girls, who were expected to be sexually available to him and his guests. Hefner claimed to have had sex with over 1,000 women.

Asked what he was most proud of, Hefner told the New York Times: “That I changed attitudes toward sex. That nice people can live together now. That I decontaminated the notion of premarital sex. That gives me great satisfaction.” 

Many praised him. Many others condemned him as a hedonistic lecherous pornographer and pimp who misused and demeaned women. Many Christians see him as an icon of the sexual revolution that has so changed the way sex, sexuality and relationships are viewed in the western world. It is easy to imagine many will be silently rejoicing that the world is rid of him. 

Not me.

Mourning

I don’t need any convincing that Hef’s influence in the area of sexual ethics is something that overall is dangerous, damaging and disastrous. I’ve just finished editing a book by Vaughan Roberts called The Porn Problem that we are due to release in the new year. I found its insights into the slavery and misery that comes from porn both disturbing and profound. Hefner was a key figure in the sexual revolution of the 1960s that has led to the tsunami of porn we now find ourselves living in. 

But, even if we can see that the precious baby of a Christian sexual ethic has been thrown out, we are blind if we deny that there was an awful lot of dirty bathwater that needed to be poured down the drain. Glynn Harrison in his excellent book A Better Story comments:

"A Christian response to the sexual revolution needs to begin with honest examination. The fear and shame that has marked much Christian culture in the area of sex and relationships isn’t just harmful and repressive, it’s unbiblical. And these attitudes, in part, helped lay the foundations of the revolution."

We love to make people into saints or sinners, but this is never the full story for any individual. Even though there may be many despicable things he thought and did, Hefner was also a philanthropist, giving large sums to conservation projects. Like all of us he bore the marred image of God. Like all of us he was a complex mix of the good, the bad and the ugly. 

And that’s one reason why I mourn. Because any death reminds me that we all—Christian or otherwise—are human beings who live in a fallen world. Every death is a tragedy that tells us of a world that has turned its back upon God, and is reaping a horrible harvest. As John Donne reminds us in his famous poem: ask not for whom the bell tolls: it tolls for thee. 

But there is another reason to mourn. We know that none of us deserve heaven. We know that the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is the only hope for all of us. We know that “there, but for the grace of God…” we might be blind ourselves, and blind guides to others. 

But we also know that those who flee to Jesus will find forgiveness and life beyond the grave. For those who turn from their sins and place their trust in him, Jesus’ outstretched arms offer welcome to anyone. For those who confess Christ and whose lives show the mark of true repentance, we can rejoice at the funerals. For all others, we mourn.