It's not an easy task. It's a decision over which many tears are shed. Because it's important to get it right: Which song would you sing at a loved one's funeral?
Recently, the Telegraph published the most commonly sung (or listened to) songs at cremations and burials. And it's a list that makes for interesting reading.
Unsurprisingly, there are songs that express the pain of loss ("Time to say goodbye") and the desire to remember the person who has died with ongoing affection ("Unforgettable" or "My heart will go on"). There are hints of acknowledgement that the departed may go to another place which is spiritual ("Angels" and "Over the rainbow") and where there is the possibility of being reunited in the future ("You'll never walk alone" and "We'll meet again"). There are tunes that seek to engender strength within those who are left behind ("You raise me up"). All of which, partially and imperfectly, glimpse the biblical truths that bereavement is tough and that this life is not all there is - there is a community of life beyond the grave.
The sad thing, however, is that none of the songs hint at how to get to that life. In fact, the most popular song suggests that most people have done exactly the opposite of what is needed to obtain eternal life. Top of the chart is Frank Sinatra's, "My way". A song with a beautiful tune but also a confident assertion of self-rule whose lyrics proudly proclaim, "I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way."
Such a song is undoubtedly a true reflection of how many have chosen to live. And a reflection of how many will continue to live in this fallen world. But the ultimate crooner's ongoing popularity is also a salutary reminder to Christians everywhere. There is a mandate upon us to show people the alternative to "my way". Our call is to set out the way of the cross - winsomely, wisely, prayerfully and purposefully. Then, and only then, will people know the beauty of the perfect community that lies beyond the grave - a place more wonderful than any song, no matter how beautifully sung.
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)
