Post-gay or Ex-gay: Shut up about it?

Is it offensive to say that you’re ex-gay or post-gay?

That’s the question the High Court is deciding this week, after Transport for London took bus adverts down from their buses last spring, which stated; “Not gay! Ex-gay, post-gay and proud. Get over it”. Those ads had gone up in response to Stonewall’s adverts which had stated: “Some people are gay. Get over it.”

The court was told that the second advert, paid for by Core Issues and Anglican Mainstream, was: “a slap in the face, gay rejection … [and was] interpreted by many as homophobic”.

The first thing to say

If you’re reading this and you’re in (or would like to be in) a gay relationship, we’re really glad you’re here. Often, God’s view of homosexuality, as He lays out in His word, the Bible, gets lost amidst the claims and recriminations from the various different “sides” on this issue. And, far more important than whether a bus advert does or doesn’t go back on the sides of buses is what God does and doesn’t say about people who are gay.

God loves you. Enough to make you, enough to tell you the best way to live, enough to die for you so that you can enjoy full life, with Him, eternally. He loves you more than any other love you’ll ever find.

God also hates it when any of us choose to stand in His shoes, guess the right way to live, and then tell Him He’s wrong. He knows what’s best for us and His world—so He stands against things like greed, gossiping, adultery, stealing, worship of work, and sex outside marriage between a man and a woman.

And yet He loves us—straight and gay—enough to send His Son to earth to bear the punishment we all deserve for standing in God’s shoes—and to send His Spirit into anyone who asks, to help us live His way, so that we can know the freedom of living as the people He designed us to be—partially now, and fully eternally.

God does not want less for you; He wants far, far more.

Those bus ads

So the best thing that Christians can do when cases such as this come up; when the media runs one of its favourite stories of “unreasonable Christians get negative/bigoted about gay people”; is to repeat what God says. He loves—He hates—He loves.

The second best thing, perhaps, is to mention the underlying assumptions which don’t get questioned. In this case, it’s noticeable that:

• TfL felt it was positive and anti-bullying to have adverts telling people to “get over” the fact that some people are gay. But Christians completely accept that some people experience the desire to have homosexual sex. What we question is whether it’s right to follow that desire. Clearly, some desires shouldn’t be followed, and some should. The Bible says this is one that shouldn’t.
• TfL felt it was negative and “a slap in the face” to say that some people once identified themselves as “gay”, and now don’t. That’s something that some gay campaigners struggle to accept; they would say that those people are now simply repressed. But why is it more negative to say “I was gay, now I’m not, get over it” than “I wasn’t openly gay, now I am, get over it”? Neither is more confrontational than the other.
• People felt that these ads were “homophobic” (the media haven’t reported who those “people” were). Homophobia is the hatred of gay people on the basis that they are gay. That is very, very different from loving gay people but disagreeing with the way they choose to live their lives. Currently, anyone disagreeing with the choice is immediately labeled “homophobic”. In this case, it was considered homophobic simply to state some facts and then add three words at the end that had been used in a previous advert.

At the moment, there is no proper conversation about this issue—and the fault lies on both sides. Christians need to respond patiently, calmly and lovingly, by repeating the gospel message before saying anything else; and by pointing out the unquestioned, underlying assumptions which skew the debate in one direction, and which shut down open, free, tolerant discussion.