Dawkins tipped for Canterbury after remarkable conversion

The Atheist and Christian world was rocked after it emerged this morning that Richard Dawkins is to be appointed Archbishop of Canterbury after a back-room deal brokered by the outgoing Primate.

In a shock news announcement from Lambeth Palace this morning (April 1st) it was stated that the outspoken atheist had radically changed his views in the last few months.

"I have always said that I am a 'cultural Anglican' said the Oxford professor, "but after years of resisting belief and arguing against it, I finally gave in to the whisperings of my heart earlier this year. I am now a believer."

Rowan Williams commented: "After our debate at the Oxford Union, Richard and I started to meet, and talk over the objections to belief. One by one, I explained patiently how his objections were not sound - even by his own strict scientific criteria."

Professor Dawkins said: "I mocked the idea of his existence for years, but like C S Lewis before me, after weeks of wrestling, I knelt down in my study and prayed for the first time to the Invisible Pink Unicorn that I had long rejected."

Dawkins confirmed that since his conversion, he had received several job offers."I was approached to be John Piper's eventual successor at Desiring God," he said. "But I felt that the microphones they use would make me look like I worked at a Burger King drive-thru."

Williams, who steps down as Archbishop in December is enthusiastic about the new appointment to the See of Canterbury. "Richard will bring his outstanding mind to bear on a whole range of difficult issues the Anglican communion faces in the future. His refreshing new theological perspective may shock some, but his remarkable conversion from convinced atheist to true believer will be enough to convince many in itself."

They are also hopeful that this new Orthodoxy will do much to set right the church's financial difficulties. "Posters, T shirts and effigies of the Invisible Pink Unicorn are already being designed and manufactured for sale in cathedrals and churches throughout the Anglican Communion," said Dawkins. "With the ear of faith, I can already hear the tills ringing."

Long-term adversaries of God Delusion author were both delighted at the news, but cautious about the newfound faith of the Oxford academic, some thinking that it might be unhelpful to expose a new believer to the pressures that such a new office would bring, others questioning of the details of his conversion. But many are enthusiastic.

Said one un-named source: "The Invisible Pink Unicorn has long been a hidden theme in Christian theology. Archbishop Richard will be continuing the fine tradition of theological development that has marked the Anglican church in recent times."

Richard Dawkins is 71.